Why Shooting My Career Low Round Actually Bummed Me Out

Yesterday, I beat my career low round by 1 stroke making a 16 foot birdie putt on the final hole. The putt was downhill and broke about 3 feet. It was incredible burying it since missing would leave about 4-5 feet. 65, wow. I should be completely stoked, but for some reason, I wasn’t.

After the two 66’s I shot as my previous low, I went out and got hammered. Today, I put my clubs in my car and went home. It was like I just shot a 90 and had enough. Shooting a 65 actually bummed me out.

This isn’t meant to be a humble brag article. Sitting here reading these messages from people in the group, seeing the inspiring messages was awesome, but on the other hand, it made me depressed for some weird reason.

“Why don’t you play on tour?”

That’s what I’m wondering, why the heck don’t I play on tour? I stood on the 17th tee today with my brother after I hit my tee shot and said “it’s a shame I don’t play this sport for a living”.

The problem is, I’m in golf purgatory where I’m not quite consistent enough to compete in tournaments but I slap my buddies around whenever we play. We were all just talking about the fact that of my immediate golf buddies I play with, none have beaten me, ever (Frankie was close, and there’s a funny story on that in the group). It’s not even like they win once every 10-15 rounds. No, they literally have never beaten me. It’s like the girl that’s a 7 that only hangs out with 4s so she looks better. That’s me. That’s what I’ve become. I’m the 7, and I’m ok with that.

Truth is, I get more excited playing with my boys than playing in a tournament. I like hitting shots people haven’t seen before, I like pulling off shots that my boys don’t even dream of trying. For me, that gets me off, I know that’s sick and demented. Maybe it’s an ego thing.

Going to mini tour events makes me laugh, it’s all 18-25 year olds that are on mommy and daddy’s dime, being molded into little professional golfers that all go to the David Leadbetter Academy. Then there’s me, 32, out of shape, married with two kids. You know how I work on my game? I FaceTime myself from my iPhone to my iPad. I place the iPad on the floor to view my takeaway from my phone that I propped up on a barstool down the line behind me. That’s my Leadbetter academy, and I’m the lead instructor.

Last week, I tied for 4th in a mini tour event and I just shook my head. I have a day job and don’t really practice anywhere near as much as I should. All these kids are little drones spawned by BDE, and that’s awesome to me that I can somewhat compete. But competing at that level takes a different type of mind set to go low on a consistent basis. It takes talent, a lot of practice, oh, and it also takes money. It’s like the South Park episode when they learn how Magic Johnson beat AIDS by injecting money liquified directly into the veins. Everything about golf is expensive. The equipment, clothing, lessons and tournament entry fees.

Going low like that is awesome, but trust me, those are few and far between. On any given day on my home course, you can pretty much pen me down for a 69-74. And what’s depressing is that’s not good enough, it’s nowhere near good enough. I’ve heard guys say don’t even think of going anywhere on any tour until you can shoot 62-65 on your home course on a CONSISTENT basis.

Maybe it’s because I’ve gotten to a point where I need my ego stroked when I’m playing, and guys on mini tours obviously aren’t going to give it to me. Maybe I doomed myself by being the girl that’s a 7 that refuses to hang out with 9s and 10s. The truth is, I’m content hanging with the 4’s, because they’re my 4’s and they tell me I’m pretty.

So for now, I’m just going to keep doing my thing, playing in one event a month and see where it takes me. Because I love this game, I love my partners, and I love the people in our group. I feed off everyone around me. You’re all my home field advantage.

Until next time, keep it in the short grass!