Playing on mini tours can be stressful. You put all your energy into every shot, and in one-day events, all you’re trying to do is play aggressive. Slow and steady does not win the race in one day events.
At this point in my life, my practice consists of playing EA Sports PGA Tour 2K23 on PlayStation on a nightly basis. I’m too lazy to practice and honestly, I get bored of it. Chipping a ball over and over again bores me to no end. It’s so easy when practicing to make little corrections after each shot that, really, you aren’t practicing real live situations, you’re practicing the correction to the mistake you made on the last shot. I practice by playing, that’s how I practice.
And since I don’t practice, I might as well get in shape. So I’ve decided to do that.
Some of you have been asking, “Andrew, what are you doing in your workout to make you so good looking, ripped and playing well. How do you look this good when you disrobe down to your Under Armour”.
Well here you have it, this is what I do and what you can do to elevate your game. These are priceless tips to my new workout regiment:
- 1st, I sit in the parking lot of gym deciding if I really feel like doing this. I think about all those cheeseburgers I ate that brought me to this point.
- Now I get out of the car, walk in and go straight to the locker room. At this point, I’m already feeling the burn.
- Next I walk out and just stare. I stare at every d*uche and laugh, they’re all trying so hard. Then I look at all the assess in yoga pants. I’ll pace around and just gander, the key here is to pretend you’re looking for a machine, but you’re just looking at butts. What better place to do this than the gym.
- Next, I’ll get to a machine, because I’m a little b-thch and don’t use free weights. I’ll do a couple sets, get up and feel like I’m ready to run through a wall. I may even let out a Rick Flair “Woooooo”. I’m feeling jacked now, Brooks Koepka is now my b*tch.
- After I do some upper body, I’ll go stare at all the dudes in the basketball court that never let me play because let’s be real, no one wants the 5’10” out of shape white boy on their team. So I’ll pretend I played by doing the next step.
- Next, is the biggest key to this entire system. Next I’ll go sit in the sauna for 25-30 minutes and sweat like there’s no tomorrow. I do this because I sweat without doing anything. This is the key here, the sauna. Once I get that good drip drip going in the sauna, I feel great. Feel like I did something, surely this will make me lose weight and it’s amazing because I’m not doing a damn thing. I can’t stress the sauna enough.
- Then I’ll hit the shower and call it a day
This is a great workout for numerous reasons. 1. I didn’t do anything really so I’m never really sore the next day. 2. I worked up a sweat without working out. I mean, just look at this:
I figured out a way to beat the system. Surely all that sweat leaving your body will amount to something one day. And finally, I have been entertained staring at nothing but yoga pants.
These simple steps lead to my T6 in the OGA Tour event at MetroWest. I promise it can happen for you too if you follow these simple steps. Remember, the sauna.